High Fidelity.

There's this high pitch noise in my head that just won't let me sleep. It's the sound of my ex- telling me she's getting married again and that this e-man and his kids are moving into the house we "bought." [...details deleted...]Hows that for cake in my face?!

....[personal ranting deleted]....

So what now? "I'm sure you'll figure it out," she has said on many an occasion. Wow. I'm finally feeling the full volume of this. Well I did figure it out. And I'm deafened by it. This very thing ( ie., the details that have been deleted) has happened over and over to women whose husbands abandoned them for younger women! Yeah. Wow. So, I guess this is reverb, payback, huh? The saddest part of this whole thing is that my girls aren't any happier now than they were before. Though they can recite to me clearly their memory of their parents fighting, they are not at all willing to accept that we are better parents now. The constant back and forth is really hard on them. And working out summer daycare is becoming fretful.

So, to repeat the question: what now? Well, I am searching for work; and living in a far too small appartment for three (333 sq ft in fact). [details deleted]... and my thoughts and desires muffled, over-trodden by a chorus of overtly high-trebeled misery demanding like a call to prayer that I bow my head and await my fate like a faithful supplicant; that I succumb to the high irony of fidelity.

7-13-2009: So, my ex- called and is really upset.... [details deleted].... Let's see, if I can't find work... shall I just agree to become homeless so the girls will have one roof? ....[details deleted]....Perhaps I have only myself to blame and I should take the fall here. The basic objective question here is: ...[details deleted]... I'm about ready to just jump off this rock down to the hard place, you know?!