The next big youth movement?

Life on the farm at Goose Lake Organics.

Some health care reality...

some truth about health care and what to do about it

Lighten up chump...

This is what I've been telling myself lately. You see I used to dream stand up comedy... when I was depressed. But where are the dreams these days? I don't know. Maybe that's my cue to come out of the dream closet with some wake time humor, time to lighten up a bit.

whoamless

...barf in the lump in the throat... that's how bad it feels to be at odds with someone you care about. [...details deleted...]

So what kind of father could a homeless man be? He could pretend to be a woodsman - though he's never been much of an outdoorsman. A traveling salesman - selling... pity? Nahh! - and certainly not soap. Or, half a witness to Jehovah? The census guy! No, I'd have to ask the question "how many children reside here" and then it'd be all over. Hmmm. Acorn - the grassroots org, that is. Which makes me think a severe diet of lentils and beans by choice doesn't sound that bad. Awe fuck it, who am I kidding - I'm no organizer, no motivator of adults. Pretty soon this whole sham of a structure, my e-life, too will be unavailable and the isolation will be unbearable. Or rather the complete exposure, the involution of my being, the implosion of the ego, will be tantamount to complete submission of my body to earth. This must be how it happens, though; how one accepts it. The outside world suddenly seeming sanctuary and a safer place than the indoors - the indoors where one shares a large room with too many other grunting, writhing, drooling old men. Who wants to listen to, smell, see that?! So, the street must seem an almost liberating experience. When I was a kid I used to talk to the trees. I guess it's time to reacquaint myself with the local 21st Century Citizens (yes, that's a reference to the photographer August Sanders). August came across quite a few travelers. Some of them were called Gypsies, Rom. And sadly much worse. I suppose the life of a rebel or foot soldier for some peoples' resistance would be more honorable, though no more sedentary. But what would I be resisting? And whom would bear the sting of my words much less a revolver. Perhaps the life of a monk would be more apropos? To alienate rather than be shunned. Homelessness as a proactive event. Sure. That rings a little truer, a little more pallatable. But, really... how about travel writing or better yet, street documentary, Studs Terkel or perusing the entire landscape like August Sanders, the photographer/artist's eye capturing, establishing a kind of inventory of the many faces of the Twentieth Century? Fool, you need a patron for that sort of enterprize, unless you're independently wealthy. Or it's annonymity... it could happen, you know... and it is happening - too close to home.

really?

I just love (not) the response I get when I say I'm an artist. "Really" It defines pretty much what most Americans think of "the Arts." We're not very well tuned in to this aesthetic attitude are we? It's a peripheral event, a sunday entertainment, a distraction, an outsiders viewpoint, a detriment to practical issues, an obviation of necessity... Should I go on? The truth is, it is our very lack of creative thinking where it is really necessary, in the bureaucracies and institutions that oversee our daily routines, that has led us to this scary point in history once again: the very real precipice of economic crisis! So, yes, I'm an artist. And finally proud of this fact! What is not to be proud of is the fact that the term "starving artist" by way of association delegates to externalalities what really is the internal failure of most of our enterprizes. That is, while we jest about the starving sunday painter, maybe we should hire him/her to inject some inventive innitiative into our boardrooms and for that matter anywhere we convene, whether it's to make policy, re-design for a greener future, or re-design public restroom stalls that actually allow you to reach the toilet paper without contortion. So, the next time somebody tells you that they're an artist - try to imagine what they might be able to do for you and your own network, and go from there. Discover an untapped resource America! It's right under your nose.

Hey my tools are back. yipee

So, this is the sort of lending that could occur to start up small, community industries. Why not? If we can invest in the poor nations, why can't we invest in poorer neighbors seeking self-suffiency?!

buttheads!

Well, Google finally took away my audio uploading tools... buttheads.

High Fidelity.

There's this high pitch noise in my head that just won't let me sleep. It's the sound of my ex- telling me she's getting married again and that this e-man and his kids are moving into the house we "bought." [...details deleted...]Hows that for cake in my face?!

....[personal ranting deleted]....

So what now? "I'm sure you'll figure it out," she has said on many an occasion. Wow. I'm finally feeling the full volume of this. Well I did figure it out. And I'm deafened by it. This very thing ( ie., the details that have been deleted) has happened over and over to women whose husbands abandoned them for younger women! Yeah. Wow. So, I guess this is reverb, payback, huh? The saddest part of this whole thing is that my girls aren't any happier now than they were before. Though they can recite to me clearly their memory of their parents fighting, they are not at all willing to accept that we are better parents now. The constant back and forth is really hard on them. And working out summer daycare is becoming fretful.

So, to repeat the question: what now? Well, I am searching for work; and living in a far too small appartment for three (333 sq ft in fact). [details deleted]... and my thoughts and desires muffled, over-trodden by a chorus of overtly high-trebeled misery demanding like a call to prayer that I bow my head and await my fate like a faithful supplicant; that I succumb to the high irony of fidelity.

7-13-2009: So, my ex- called and is really upset.... [details deleted].... Let's see, if I can't find work... shall I just agree to become homeless so the girls will have one roof? ....[details deleted]....Perhaps I have only myself to blame and I should take the fall here. The basic objective question here is: ...[details deleted]... I'm about ready to just jump off this rock down to the hard place, you know?!

A sad day...

Well it finally happened: google will not be supportive of my browser pretty soon. For quite a while now, I haven't been able to blog on myspace for some unknown reason or update facebook (though I can export links to facebook from other sites, I can't actually post directly on my wall)--- and now google is movin' on! Criminy. I am going to go insane for the isolation! Better get busy with audio archive before they shut me down! I guess this is what you get when you hang on to decade old technology.

"Communist, Zionist, Fascist..."

"...what difference does it make as long as you get your medicine?!" from the movie, Defiance.

Yeah, so what if we call it Socialized medicine right? So long as everybody is cared for... Come on, even Adam Smith would have been okay with that.

Pink Floyd

For some reason I felt compelled to listen to Pink Floyd's Umma Gumma album this weekend - and full volume. Sorry neighbors! This album takes me back... whoah... I wanna buy a "black light" now. hah, hah... Wish I still had that wall size Hendrix poster! But, REALLY...music has this power over us doesn't it? It bonds to our memory, determined by times in our lives.

just don't have the guts (in my computer)

Wish I could utilize this engine. Time to get a new laptop!

Under-employed, unemployed ... under the ploy...

I hear these figures: 9.5 unemployed, 16.5 under-employed... But certainly there are individuals who are not accounted for in this country; but just how many is a real mysterious number?! So, 9.5 plus 16.5 equals a minimum of 26% of adults in this country are feeling a serious financial pinch. How do the census people estimate the number of homeless or individuals off the grid though? You have to assume that more than 26% of adult Americans are hurting financially and that an unknown proportion are near to losing their cool over it! I think it's time we stop going by 1960 poverty standards and tell it like it is!

time for a condiment

At costco today I had trouble extracting the onions from their dispensor for my "hot dog." A friendly staff woman came by just as I was about to give up. "You have to turn it clock wise," she said. Well, this so-called clock was not oriented to my advantage, I thought: it rotated for and against me you see, not arcing on a plane to left or right. So, the woman began to gently and slowly stroke this machine forwards and back as if to recussitate a sparrow - and voila; she conjurred my onions. I told her, apparently "one mustn't allienate the onion."